Breaking News: GPS Recycling Miscegeny Trackers Flatten Circular Economy

[SEATTLE, WA 01.04.2015 00:01 april fools] MIT Sendable City lab announced today that a study with NGO Basel Acting Network has revealed a startling outcome, and a next stage.  The circular economy is flat.  And a Next Generation Tracking Devices has been developed to find reuse trade as it occurs.

The team will keep tracking the devices, as they move around between repair and reuse markets. But the next generation of trackers, the NI88ERGPS, will clearly identify boundries in the gray market.

"In our first effort, we thought that Basel Acting Network had tracked each of the GPS devices to its final resting place.  We called that end point 'Overseas'.  We thought we were finished," said Dr. Carl Ratty of MIT Sendable City Lab. "It turns out there are a lot of different places over there, and stuff keeps moving around."

The 1st Generation of GPS devices are still in motion.  88 different nations have continued to use, pass along, and exchange the devices.  Reuse is spiralling out of control, and it will take a new generation of trackers to make the crime - not disposal, but point of exchange - more black and white.

A 'point of pollution' requires that the device stop somewhere, in a dump. BAN's actual target is the exchange of goods and services between rich and poor, an act he labels electronic miscegenation.  These are not geographic "positioning" tracers.  They will trace "possession".

Continuing Final Outcomes:

"In 2016, we were certain that when the GPS devices landed in Faisalabad, Pakistan, that they were surely and finally buried, deep in the soil of a 3rd story electronics mall with escalators and dozens of reuse shops," said Basel Acting Network CEO Jim Plunckett.

But the first trial continued to track the property for as long as the batteries last.  Devices disposed in a primitive computer company's third shelf eye-level retail shop moved to a dormitory at Faisalabad University, 3 blocks away.

"We updated the report to show the devices new locations.  But they keep moving," said Ratty.

Devices sent to Tin Shui Wai in Hong Kong's Yuen Long district could be tracked going up an elevator, the a 14 floor apartment.  One device appeared to be in use in a hospital mobile cart.  A display device attached to a blood gas analyzer, the GPS tracker showed the cart moving up and down hallways, floor by floor in the Cairo General Childrens Hospital.

Plunckett sees a better solution than tracking an "end point".

"The techs in these 88 emerging nations are conspiring to hide the devices from us," he declared.  "They are shuffling them in the dark corners of broad daylight, to internet cafes, to sports bars, and to public schools.  Overseas was a grey area, but we think it can be made black and white."

Plunkett unveiled his new secret weapon.  A wheelchair bound Charles Xavier, who been "persuaded" to track a new generation of GPS devices from inside a spherical observatory, Cerebro. Jim Plunkett overseas the process.

BAN CEO Plunkett Advises MIT Carl Ratty on GPS Tracking

Ratty was surprised to find first generation GPS trackers delivered to "primitive" printer demanufacturing yards sold online at a printer parts distributor in Shenzhen.

"We accidentally bought one of our GPS trackers back, refurbished, in a new box, through Alibaba," said Ratti. "It was salvaged from a Hong Kong shipment".
Lithium battery GPS sent to USA shredder

Some GPS devices did terminate.  Trackers sent to several USA based e-waste shredding companies had burst into flames when their lithium batteries were put into a hammermill, injury several USA electronics recycling employees.

Plunckett modestly appeared to take credit.

"It's all in a day's work," sighed Plunckett.  "The alarmist headlines about e-waste drive the headlines.  Those alarmist stories generate our recycling investments, drive our legislation, drive research, trade journal headlines, and conferences.  The bad insinuations recycling salespeople make against their competitors.  The fake statistics don't write themselves."

"Without BAN, there would be no sense of emergency," Plunckett declared proudly.

Stage II: Next Gen 88 Tracker

Plunckett announced the next phase of the used electronics tracking project.  Items like cell phones, laptops, computers and displays will, in 2017, be tagged with a new type of tracker, one which can identify when it has been touched by a technician in one of 88 poorer nations.

The "Not In 88 Electronics Recycling" tracker will identify the recyclers in the USA who were willing to do business in Africa and Asia, at the precise point when electronics are taken in possession by poor people.

These 88 nations, primarily in Africa, are presumed "primitive" by the NGO, and any USA recycler who exchanges goods and services in those countries will be presumed guilty of "electronic reuse miscegenation", according to Plunkett.  "The little devils are capable of removing our GPS devices and reselling them back to us, but now we can catch them in the act of reuse." 

The new GPS isn't for "Geographic Positioning System" - it's for "Possession Systems".

The device is triggered to send a signal when the GPS comes into the possession of an owner of color.

"We know these traders are out there, doing business with Africans as if they were just ordinary repair and reuse operators.  The NI88 Electronics Recycler tracking devices allow us to bring their exchanges out in the open."

"Joseph Benson was just the first," Plunkett stated.  "There are boatloads of these technicians to track, and we will build our charitable industrial complex by exposing them for what they are."

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