E-Waste Money for Nothing

Wanted:  Environmentalist with video editing software and a sense of humor.  

I was driving a truckload of computers, TVs, printers etc. from a Rhode Island "E-waste" event late Saturday night, zigging through the Green Mountains back to our recycling plant in Middlebury Vermont around midnight.  Hurting and feeling good at the same time.  And this song comes on the radio [Thank You Mark Knopfler and Dire Straits]  And I realize, hey!  This is our ewaste collection song!!



Over ten years ago I made my first speech about electronics recycling policy at the EPR2 conference in Washington DC.  I opened by saying that "electronics recycling" appears to be just like every other kind of recycling in one way - the people who make a career of talking about it earn more than you can by doing it.  (That was a reference to the gap between policy wonks and people on the scrap dis-assembly lines...)

What I'd like is to do a cover of this majestic Dire Straits "Money for Nothing" song with a few twists*.

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You talk about "e-waste" policy
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and checks for free
Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your tongue.

We gotta haul out microwave ovens
E-waste takeback and deliveries
We gotta move these laser printers
We gotta move these colour TV's

See the bureaucrat with the necktie or the makeup
Yeah buddy that's his own hair
That bureaucrat got his own new Prius
That little brat he's a millionaire

We gotta takeout microwave ovens
E-waste takeback deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TV's

I shoulda learned to make e-waste law
I shoulda learned to write regulation

Look at that mama, she's clickin' with the camera
Makin' this look like fun
And who's up there, what's that? Exporting noises?
Bangin' on the keyboard like a chimpanzee
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your checks for free

We gotta deman microwave ovens
E-waste Event deliveries
We gotta move these televisions
We gotta teardown these old PC's, Lord

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You speak about e-waste policy
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your checks for free
Money for nothin' and checks for free 

Since first posting this on Sunday, I got an eyebrow-raising comment (see "Anonymous" below") about part of the Mark Knopfler song I had not re-written.   It turns out that direct reuse of lyrics (which contained the words "that little faggot") had a toxic effect on some readers.  I've re-written the lyrics above (in the same way as I suspect a NY eco-lobbyist re-wrote a quote for the Boston Globe - spooky!).  And a disclaimer - this is tongue in cheek (I am after all a recovering regulator, and some of my best friends are bureaucrats)

Oh, by the way, some of the photos (top right) are from 2004 when we worked with Lithuanians to establish a CRT recycling operation with a scrap smelter and Ekranos (one of the east block CRT molding plants).  That year we were testing the monitors for resale, and I thought "tested working" was the answer.  I visited the SKD plant after one of these shipments and found they were throwing out the Suns, Trinitrons, and other "tested working" models.  All that's worthy of its own post.

Here's a more appropriate song... I shouldn't have to worry about offending anyone with this.  And this is played over actual footage of Good Point Recycling staff really moving PCs and color Teeeveeeeees.